Category Archives: Real stories

A SNIPPET OF MY DAY

  As you can see I’ve been cutting the hedges at the Cliff Top Residence. This is real altfact photo of the garden. I decided to have a shower afterwards as I was covered in clippings. “Oh, how did that get there?” and “And there!?! It’s not possible.” and “Nobody will believe that.” Finally I […]

ROLL REVERSAL

Here’s a jolly jape when visiting friends. When you use the facilities change how the loo roll is presented and never say anything to anybody ever*. Do this every time you visit like I do. *whoops .

MINI TWIGLET JENGA

A few years ago I invented this marvellous game! The family love to play it. The rules are simple. You play in reverse of normal Jenga in that each person takes a turn to add to the tower. When someone causes the tower to collapse they have to eat all the Twiglets. There is one […]

THE INTERNET AND SOCIAL MEDIA

Most people use magnifying glasses to help see fine detail, to examine and discover. A few use them to start fires or kill small insects. I could waffle on about what I’m getting at but you are all intelligent enough to understand … I hope. .

THE SUN IN ALL IT’S GLORY

Even at this time of year the solar panels chuck out quite a lot of electrickery … for about 1/2 an hour a day … when it isn’t cloudy or raining … or snowing. When these specific conditions happen to collide in celestial harmony we charge round the house turning on the washing machine, the […]

2015 + 1

The New Year has got off to a cracking start. So far, I’ve mused on whether windows in trousers would be a commercial proposition, do Inuits have reinforced vests around the nipple areas to allow for ‘perky’ wear and tear and will the bank accept 2015 + 1 as a valid amendment on incorrectly dated […]

STARS IN MY EYES

I always find a clear night very comforting. All the stars are in just the right places. The outer edge of the Big Dipper shows where the North star is. Orion’s belt indicates exactly the position of the Seven Sisters  and the moon is sickled or gibbous or new or full exactly when it should […]

KEEPING TRACK

The track at the bottom of the garden at the Cliff Top Residence is a never ending source of entertainment (see previous post – adult content). Anyhoo, yesterday the local dustcart, manned by non-locals apparently, drove down the track (the usual truck never goes down the track) and got stuck in the mud. Very stuck. […]

FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN…

… an overheard conversation. This is an actual account of something that happened yesterday. I wandered down the garden and became aware that a couple of women were having a chat on the public footpath that we back on to. I started back for the house and suddenly tuned into their conversation which stopped me […]

REFINED LANGUAGE

I’m always trying to improve my teaching techniques. Many years ago, I was 19 I think, I had a job at the Chiltonian biscuit factory. (BTW, I have inside knowledge of what’s in these … … approach with care) Anyhoo 1. There was a chap there who reminded me of Abel Magwitch from Great Expectations. […]