“Oh deary deary me” the glove puppet said
“Without that hand inside me I might as well be dead.”
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Category Archives: poems
PARTNERS
December 30, 2010 – 6:00 am
DIFFICULT CHOICES
December 29, 2010 – 6:00 am
If I had eyes in the back of my head
I’d have to sleep on my front when in bed
So perhaps I’ll plump,
[Because of my hump]
To have them where my ears are instead.
.
(Learning to open the ones you’ve got would be a start. LoTG Ed)
IN THE HANDS OF A PRO
December 28, 2010 – 6:00 am
“Open wide” the dentist said
“I’m just going to have a poke”
Slightly worried I replied,
“Argh argh argh argh argh ARGH!’
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THE YEARLY MIRACLE
December 27, 2010 – 10:06 am
Every year about this time,
And it happens over night,
Trousers which fitted perfectly
Suddenly become too tight.
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DP’S SUPPORT SERVICE
December 22, 2010 – 6:00 am
The brassiere is a wondrous thing
A technical delight
Without the bra the wobbly bits
Could easily take flight.
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Match of the Day
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ODD BEDFELLOWS
December 10, 2010 – 6:55 pm
One piece of advice that I think you’ll find handy,
A gem for your very own modus op’randi,
It’s something I learnt the hard way when young,
When trying to sleep on a bed trés well sprung.
Having surmised I was missing a pillow
I decided to use a young armadillo,
But then every time that I drifted asleep
He moved, and [...]
IN DENIAL
October 13, 2010 – 6:00 am
I’m really not a show-off and have never been,
I didn’t scream in my pram, making quite a scene,
I didn’t wear high heels on the day I turned fifteen
Or go to my first party in a shirt made up from beans.
And on the interweave, I never ever flirt,
Or sit blogging on my sofa wearing just a [...]
SMALL TALK
September 29, 2010 – 6:00 am
Oh hello, you look divine …. how are the boys? ….. did they build that shrine?
I’m not too sure – is this one mine? …. yes, I used the Northern line ….
Did you hear about Uncle Lime? ….. and then the incident with sisal twine ….
No, he’s fine ….. [that doorway’s crooked, if I just [...]
SOME VERY GOOD ADVICE ….
September 16, 2010 – 6:00 am
……. although you probably won’t take any notice [sometimes I wonder why I bother]. (Nooo, surely not. Lo,TG Ed)
There’s nothing like a grumble to really lift your mood,
Express yourself out loud, it’s awfully bad to brood
“Your skirt is way way way too short, it’s very very rude,
Your ideas on elegance are absolutely skewed!
And don’t you [...]
MY MOTHER-IN-LAW
September 3, 2010 – 6:00 am
Avid readers might have noticed that I have rarely mentioned my mother-in-law.
There is a simple reason for this. She would need a post as long as War and Peace [and would probably have a similar title].
Anyway she did teach me a couple of things that have been very useful in helping me get through life [...]
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