Going shopping and whilst hopping,
She spied her own reflection.
She checked her bum, oh this is fun.
She gazed with much affection.
“Avast behind!” broke her peace of mind,
She glared in all directions,
Then saw the source, oh yes, of course!
A pirate of fair complexion.
She began to flirt and twirled her skirt
Then spied an imperfection.
Across his bum, which left [...]
CONTRARIETY
Hidden away in a secret valley somehow keeping warm
Developing and controlling the uncontrollable brain storm
Safely separate from all the peeps and content to be alone
Yet placing very carefully the makings of stepping stones.
WHEN TO CAST A CLOUT
There are signs that the season of hibernation is coming to an end
I’ve seen the sun and scratched my [...]
The Upper Crusted and Crested Newt
Is the epitome of ghastly cute
He wears a ruff
Partakes of snuff
And turns sideways through doorways when playing the flute.
(We’re snowed in and beginning to suffer from cabin fever hence the awful poem. It’s been like this for literally hours now.)
46 years of too much bliss
Many laughs with hardly a hiss
A burning tea bag
What a wag
Pucker up now for a sloppy kiss
Lo, she is a terrible Goddess must be the unluckiest woman on the planet.
Hang on … that’s 12 square feet!
AN ODE
What would you do in an eight foot square?
Wear top hat and tails? – trés debonair
Or wobble about and get bad mal de mer?
Or perhaps cut your hair in a large barber’s chair?
There might be the sight of a huge grizzly bear
Or a model in gold of a [...]
He’s easy to follow is Ambrose le Carte
Even if foggy or incredibly dark
There are noises and smells that give him away
A career as a spy would be very risqué
It’s the beans he consumes that have these affects
And explains why he’s single in many respects
That and his hair only attached to the right
Combed over, slicked down [...]
There are signs that you are over the hill
The doctor exclaiming “You’ve got to take pills!
Statins and blockers and other great meds
And exactly what is that growing out of your head?”
It’s one of the hairs that’s completely gone rogue
It appeared with my sudden desire for brogues
My forehead has recently chosen to spawn
A filament so gross [...]
There are loads of Mister Men from Cool to Rude to Strong
From Tickle to Forgetful, the list is very long
There’s Mister Topsy-Turvy and Uppity and Bump
A Quiet and a Greedy, though there’s no Mr Thump
And then there’s one more Mister that we really can’t ignore
A title lacking gravitas, it’s really rather poor
A person in [...]
I do my best, I’m up for the new
I’ve even made sculptures with elephant poo
I’ve climbed up a hill clutching some brie
To see if I could manage to get down to the sea
And with abacus, ink and a very large hook
I’ve even attempted to write a great book
None of it’s worked or been a success
So [...]
When finding the way I follow my nose
If it runs so do I
It makes sense I suppose
But the girl in the piccy uses her head
Til the parting of ways
When she loses the thread
So I think my way’s best, I hope you agree
And I don’t need a mirror
I’m completely hands free
Which allows me to hold thermos [...]
