December 3, 2008 – 6:00 am
.
Christmas time is not all bad,
So many reasons to be not sad,
But there’s a subject I must raise
With Santa. Boy, it’s left me phased.
.
The weather, you will all have seen,
Has taken a turn that’s quite obscene.
The nights are cold, the mornings chilly,
And what I need concerns my willy.
Asking Santa will cause a shock, for what [...]
December 2, 2008 – 6:00 am
I have been commissioned by a well known incontinent pad manufacturer to do some serious research.
How many times do you have to get up every night to spend a penny?
I am pleased to say that I don’t bother at all …… indeed, even if I did have to bother, I doubt whether I’d make the [...]
December 1, 2008 – 6:00 am
……. do Sunday drivers only come out on Sundays? Why do they drive at exactly five miles an hour under the speed limit? Why do they drive in the middle of the road? Why can’t you see their heads over the steering wheel? How have they kept alive for so long? Is it [...]
November 30, 2008 – 6:00 am
………. just to let you know that we are moving to the Cliff Top Residence on the 15th of December and that ALL presents should be delivered down that particular chimney.
I apologise now for any inconvenience caused by the fact I’ve blocked up the chimney but I’m sure you will come up with something to [...]
November 28, 2008 – 6:00 am
I woke at midday – I’d forgotten to set the alarm.
“Oh well, never mind” I thought “Uma will have to wait”.
I rolled over and went back to sleep.
November 25, 2008 – 6:00 am
*TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING*
“What the ………!”
I sat bolt upright in bed and then remembered that I had a very important interview with Uma Thurman about why an ageing git was so attractive to goddesses.
I jumped out of bed, forgetting that I’d parked my skateboard there in case I needed a quick getaway.
I scooted across the bedroom managing to [...]
November 24, 2008 – 6:00 am
*TRRRRRRRRRRRRRRING*
“What the ………!”
I sat bolt upright in bed and then remembered that I had a very important interview with Uma Thurman about why an ageing git was so attractive to goddesses.
I jumped out of bed forgetting that I’d parked my skateboard there in case I needed a quick getaway.
I scooted across the bedroom and managed [...]
November 22, 2008 – 6:00 am
So long as you don’t find the thought that there is always someone worse off than you too depressing (and there is always someone worse off than you), there is absolutely no reason why you shouldn’t be feeling toppity fab today………..
It’s Saturday today – yay! – which is usually good, and then of course it [...]
November 20, 2008 – 6:00 am
Oh yes, not the Prince Regent of Razors, but the King of Shaves sent me a razor and some gel to test thanks to those lovely people at Fuel My Blog [well one of them is lovely – I’m trying to decide exactly which one.]
Anyway, the area that usually gets a regular seeing to responded [...]
November 19, 2008 – 6:00 am
…….. is rubbish. He never calls and hasn’t even let me know his telephone number…………….
……… and that’s not all! He has never ever read my fantastic blog, made a comment or shown any interest in anything that I do on the interweave. Quite honestly I don’t think he likes me very much. Oh well, I [...]
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