The Cliff Top Residence
SE England
England
Dear Voice Recognition Bot – British Rail,
I just thought I’d drop you a line to say how much I loved our conversation the other day.
“Hello. Welcome to British Rail train enquiries. To prove that it’s only me that is a robot, please say hello.”
“Hello.”
“You are human – just. Where do you [...]
The Cliff Top Residence
SE England
England
Dear Chav,
You have no idea how delighted I was when, sitting in the park the other day communing with nature and musing on the meaning of life, you plonked yourself down beside me and turned your ghetto blaster to full volume.
My delight increased a thousand fold when you started ‘popping’ lager [...]
The Cliff Top Residence
SE England
England
Dear Mothers on the school run,
How very reassuring that obviously none of you are suffering a personal credit crunch or indeed, worried about global warming.
The display of 4×4 vehicles outside the Little Henry and Henrietta Pre-School For Over Achievers this morning, was very impressive.
The delight I felt waiting while you parked [...]
The Cliff Top Residence
SE England
England
Dear Neighbourhood
I would like to make a suggestion and, if necessary, form a committee, concerning the use of lawn mowers, strimmers, hedge cutters and chainsaws, particularly early in the morning on weekends and Bank Holidays.
My suggestion is that no mechanical or electrical devices are used before 10 am ………. actually perhaps [...]
The Cliff Top Residence
SE England
England
Dear Mr Dentist,
Just a small query; I know that you’re just off to the Bahamas for your 2nd holiday this year, and I don’t want to hold you up.
It’s just that I wondered if all dentists ask questions when the patient’s mouth is full of several hands, a vacuum pump, a [...]
The rest of the shower room arrived the other day …….
…….. so 3 guesses what I’m doing over Easter. (They say cleanliness is next to Godliness, Peabrain; I think cleanliness might be achievable. Lo,TG Ed)
There is a brand new ‘Man of Letters’ over at Sky although I do realise that some people can’t be bothered [...]
The Cliff Top Residence
SE England
England
Dear Council Worker
I was very pleased to see that you were managing to get some ‘me time’ the other day as I queued at the temporary traffic lights for a restful 15 minutes. I noticed you were very well organised, with a copy of a ‘Red Top’, several sandwich options, a [...]
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