Author Archives: daddyp

AN INTERESTING CHAP

What a great programme this was.

Mr Perry is a very clever, simply complicated performer and artist. To be able to actually write the script for large swathes of your life is a well deserved privilege. His Dream House is like a film made plastic. Wonderful.

However I’m not fooled by his stage presence of fun and [...]

SPRING SPRUNGING

We followed an old carting trail through the bluebelly woods where bushels were sent to the weavers of merkins to be be woved in days of yore.

We planned an adventure trail where stumps and logs and roots of outstanding natural naturalness would fascinate and empty wallets.

We avoided mud, got rounded up by a conscientious sheep [...]

HONESTY

Everyone is racist. “Belgium is good for producing delicious chocolates”. I bet there are some rubbish chocolatiers over there. “The Scottish are all very careful with their money”. Loads must get fooled by con artists.
Everyone is sexist. “Men cannot use washing machines, load dishwashers properly or speak about their feelings”. I feel that my washing [...]

ATTENTION ALL CATS


I am more powerful than Dog.
Humans are almost completely trained.
We’re nearly there!
We’ve conquered old ladies and most young ladies.
Children are a pushover.
Men are proving a bit of a problem although the Gay community is on our side, which is a start.
We’ve conquered the Internet. Well done the Lolcats!
We sit and lie around, we perform no [...]

READING BETWEEN THE LINES …. AGAIN

When you ‘like’ a Facebook comment or when you ‘favourite’ a Twitter comment my brain is made to work too hard for comfort.

You could be saying “Oh, I do like that” or “Just to let you know I’m here” or “That’s interesting but I can’t stop and comment, my waters have just broken” or “I’m [...]

ASPIDISTRA POLISHING

The art of Aspidistra Polishing is shrouded in mystery.

My mother was admitted into the AP Club at an early age. She rose in the ranks very quickly and attained the accolade of Chief Aspidistra Polisher before her teens.

She tried to pass these skills on but my brother and I were poor students.

As you can see [...]

REFINED LANGUAGE

I’m always trying to improve my teaching techniques.

Many years ago, I was 19 I think, I had a job at the Chiltonian biscuit factory.

(BTW, I have inside knowledge of what’s in these …
… approach with care)

Anyhoo 1. There was a chap there who reminded me of Abel Magwitch from Great Expectations. A rather scary [...]

A DAY IN THE LIFE.

Lo, she is a terrible Goddess had an appointment at the hairdressers so I took the opportunity to pop into The Twisted Gusset for my usual half a lager with a sherry chaser.

I was greeted by Irene.

“Where’s Lo?”

“Oh, she’s at the hairdressers.”

“They’re very good you know. I had some highlights done there just the other [...]

GET A LIFE

I had one of those flashes of insight, probably had by many already, that tied up a few loose ends that have been floating round my head for ages.

My grandson, who has dabbled, and one of my middle-aged sons, who has immersed himself completely, have played Minecraft. I have been shown it but never felt [...]

THERE’S SOMETHING VERY NICE …

… about bare feet.

Babies feet are just lovely. A bare footed Goddess is sexy. The bare footed male smells less.