Author Archives: daddyp

PANTS!

I’m just popping out, I’m not going far,
I wonder where my car keys are?
Beside the bed?
Inside the shed?
I’m finding all this very bizarre.
This is going to drive me quite mad,
Today is beginning to go real bad -
Now I’ve looked by the sink
And I’m starting to think
I’ll have to resort to trying an ad.
Oh no, I’ve [...]

SCREEN SAVER

STOP GOING ROUND IN CIRCLES!

There is a roundabout on Hastings sea front that is causing quite a kerfuffle. Please read about it here.
We now have the stick-in-the-muds who just want the rather sad looking fountain renovated and that can only be used when it isn’t windy because in those conditions cars using the roundabout think they’re in a carwash [...]

Georgina Smythe

I avoid Georgina at number 20,
Although she’s a member of the cognoscenti
And she’s interesting and likes to rabbit,
Conversation’s hampered by her painful habit.
Points are made with her walking cane
With prods and pokes that all cause pain,
And if she’s in the mood ‘irate’
Survival depends on armour plate.
So I take care when going for walks
My eyes are [...]

SILVER LININGS

One excellent result of both Lo, she is a terrible Goddess and I having blowy, sneezy, coughy and sore throaty colds at the same time, is the delight of sleepless nights leading to meaningful conversations in the wee small hours.
“I wonder if there’s a magazine called Phlegm?”
“I don’t think so. Contact Victoria Beckham in the [...]

ANNA PHYLACTIC

Here’s a poem I wrote ages ago. I thought it deserved another outing.

Anna Phylactic liked to give shocks
Wore on one ear a brightly striped sock
Her singular hair she dyed a warm pink
Rubber plunger on breasticle [think sink].
She plaited her toes and removed all her nails
Dressed in a kilt and wore a silk veil
And then when [...]

THE BARE CHEEK OF IT!

Is this the sort of thing we want to see in Hastings? Or even masses of naked flesh draped all over the sea front!!!!!?!

Of course it is.
There are plans for a flashing flash mob this coming Friday down at the Stade Open Space. Full details on the Jerwood website – click HERE for details. This is [...]

WELCOME TO 2014

All is normal here at the Cliff Top Residence although the ducks are beginning to wonder when the gale and severe gale force winds will end. Still, it’s been quite a lot of fun crawling around over the roof replacing lead flashing, broken tiles and ridge tiles not to mention chain sawing the fallen trees [...]

MERRY CHRISTMAS – Ho ho ho

Here’s a jolly picky of Lo, she is a terrible Goddess and Father Christmas. Lo is the one on the left. I recognise that look of suspicion.
I hope that everyone has a very merry Yuletide with suspicions being kept to the absolute minimum.

THE FAIRLIGHT EYE

This iconic landmark which has stood in Fairlight for almost an hour and a half now, is one of the main reasons the village is considered to be a “have to, must do” tourist destination.
The London Eye has copied this design and I wish them every success in trying to be as popular as this [...]