ATTENTION ALL CATS

big-cat

I am more powerful than Dog.

Humans are almost completely trained.

We’re nearly there!

We’ve conquered old ladies and most young ladies.

Children are a pushover.

Men are proving a bit of a problem although the Gay community is on our side, which is a start.

We’ve conquered the Internet. Well done the Lolcats!

We sit and lie around, we perform no useful function and yet people feed us – they pamper us – they worship us!

We can behave as we please.

Crap in the garden! Crap in the kitchen! Spray wherever we want! Nothing we do displeases them.

BUT … we mustn’t get complacent. Cute cats, remain cute. Those that can bear the touch of a human, my heart goes out to you, allow the odd cuddle, follow my example. Lolcats, continue your sterling work. Try and control that look of distain. Pay a tiny amount of attention to your human and they will look after you. Continue hardly doing anything useful and the world will be mine … MINE I TELL YOU!!!!! … errr, I mean ours, OURS!!!!!!! … oops

(CUT!!!! Let’s do that again)

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