The Cliff Top Residence
SE England
England
Dear Chav,
You have no idea how delighted I was when, sitting in the park the other day communing with nature and musing on the meaning of life, you plonked yourself down beside me and turned your ghetto blaster to full volume.
My delight increased a thousand fold when you started ‘popping’ lager cans, quaffing the amber liquid and then throwing them at the ducks on the pond. Your selflessness in sharing your musical taste was astounding and the ducks seemed to find it quite amusing that your aim was so bad – they certainly quacked a lot.
I can assure you that the reason I stuffed tissues into my ears wasn’t because I didn’t appreciate the ‘drum and bass’ that shook several of my fillings loose [a blessing really – they needed replacing obviously] – it’s more of a hobby really – rather like avoiding the January sales.
Glancing at your knuckles as they almost grazed the ground, I noticed from your splendid tattoos that you loved your right hand and hated your left, which I found a tad odd, but was reassured by the Union Flag etched on your forehead – very fetching.
I’m sorry I couldn’t stay longer and chat but I had to get home to cut my nails. I enjoyed our little dance though and I do apologise for tripping up on that blade of grass, losing my balance and stamping on your sound system. Luckily, you had had so much to drink you didn’t seem to notice. I observed, when I glanced over my shoulder to make sure you weren’t following me to offer even more information on how the government had let you down, that you’d fallen into the pond. I hope that you survived the swans that seemed to be mounting an attack……… in a way.
Yours sincerely,
Daddy Papersurfer
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Stumble It!
7 Comments
I suppose you could be grateful he wasn’t travelling in a ‘chavpack’ they are particularly distasteful even more so when females are thrown in the mix … I say you had a lucky experience there ….. [I do hope the swans gave him a good 'what for!!']
The bloke who lived upstairs from Tiggz was like this with the added benefit of being a total nutcase – I believe that he’s moved now ….. [the nutcase, not Tiggz]
don’t those type of people make your life so complete … not!!
Hard day again? …… here’s your pipe ….. and would you like a Werther’s Original?
eee how did you know … I will pass on the pipe but a Wether’s sounds just the ticket plus a large glass of wine lol
Just wondering how to fit 5 days work into 2 1/2 next week ???
2 1/2 days!!!! …… are you skiving again?
Skiving? Me? Moi?
…. yep
Well done!! ….. I thoroughly approve ….
So that was yu wot smashed my sounz, yu ole scrote!
You do that too well GW ….. very worrying …….
Comes natrall arfta speshul brew for brekkie innit?
Good heavens …….
you’re such a lovable old curmudgeon aren’t you?
I do my best to bring a little sunshine into people’s lives …….. tee hee heeeeeeeeee
Swans are hefty birds and can do quite a lot of damage, I’m told. Let’s hope he was well lagered by the time they got a run at him.
It could have been his swan song I suppose ……
Next, could you possibly trip over one of those cars which travel with a sound system which rivals a 747 on take off?
My pleasure Archie – nice to hear that these kind people can be found all over the globe …..
Ah this has reminded me to be grateful that I no longer live in Manchester!
I wonder if young 70’s will notice your comment Girliegeek ……. you could be in trouble!
We moved out of London many, many years ago, tried towns a couple of times since but we always end up in the country or a small village …… in spite of the b****y dawn chorus – tee hee
oh I did
It is ok as I am from Liverpool lol
Disclaimer – I cannot take responsibility for any disparaging comments about ‘Op Norf’ – I might encourage it of course – tee hee ……..