1 Lalaland Avenue
Town Centre
Upyoursandbeyondshire
England
Dear Traffic Warden,
It was a pleasure to meet you outside the fish and chip shop the other day and, in case you were worried about it, even though they were stone cold after our little chat, I did manage to heat up my cod and chips when I got home.
The way you suddenly sprang out from behind the dustbins, just as I was applying some vinegar to my fare, exactly one second after my allotted waiting time, certainly gave me a bit of a shock. Luckily I glimpsed you in the mirror above the deep fat fryer, so could hurry out to talk to you.
Rules are indeed rules, and the zero tolerance you displayed is an example that the boys in blue could take a lesson from, when dealing with thugs and ne’er do wells. I was delighted to be a part of such an efficient operation.
I would like to point out that I was not in fact trying to press the delete button on your hand held computer when I took it rather abruptly from your fist – I was merely ascertaining that you’d got the correct number of my car, as the plates were covered in mud. Also I do apologise for dropping it in that rather deep puddle. Luckily the machine is waterproof and all the information on it was quite safe.
I would like to confirm that the number of my car is FU2 and that my name is indeed D. Poselthwaite and the address for any correspondence is at the top of this letter.
I look forward to receiving the paperwork explaining my fine to me in the near future.
Yours sincerely
DP
.
Stumble It!
9 Comments
Note to self: Copy DP’s letter for reference for when I get a parking ticket.
Glad to hear the fish-n-chips survived your run-in with the law.
Actually this was based on something that happened to Penfold a few years ago …. [but don't tell anyone]
that’s the rock ‘n roll lifestyle I was referring to the other day…that was an expensive fish & chips if you ask me…should walk to it!
Please see above young Sylvie ….. and the F&C shop is about 3 miles away so -
1. I’m lazy
2. The F&C’s would be cold by the time we got the home
3. We don’t actually use F&C shops very often – we do our own
4. I’m very lazy
5. If I get done by a female traffic warden, I flash my eyes and wiggle my butt and they tear the ticket up
6. If I get done by a male traffic warden, I flash my eyes and wiggle my butt and they tear the ticket up
7. I’m soooo lazy that it hurts ….
…. but you are right saying they were expensive F&C’s – luckily it was Penfold’s fine – tee hee
good luck with that daddyp
Always worth a try …….
lazy? I would have never put these two words together
Two words!!!?!!!! – I must be missing an eye ……
(hee hee) Hey….ME TOO!!!!! Where is it?
Verrrrrry nice letter Daddy P…I mean D. Poselthwaite!
xoxo..
Shusssssssh – you’ll give the game away!!!!
When I drove taxis, we used to pick up a chap who was a police motorcyclist. The local nightclub used to do a ‘999′ night, exclusively for members of the emergency services and their guests.
I was sent to pick him up at chucking out time and while chatting on the way home, the conversation got round to traffic wardens and the ‘little Hitler’ that gave me a ticket the week before when I was helping a disabled customer into her house.
“Oh, that tosser” he said “yeah, we all hate his guts too”.
I’ve been quite lucky over the years actually …… mind you the TG has eyes in the back of her head and a mellifluous voice ………
I gaze upon this letter deeply with my mind’s eye and I wonder if stationary boats get parking tickets from uniformed mermaids.
I like a man who can recall a strange tail.
I also wonder if Mermen wear codpieces – - -
….. and I’m beginning to wonder if there’s something slightly different about the air in Australia ….. tee hee
It can be a strange plaice
Cod love him he is trying to chip away
Don’t you start 70’s – I rely on you for a touch of sanity [WHAT AM I SAYING!!!?]
ROFL …. spits/splutters Earl Grey out lol
I think I better go to work … at least I will have a stoopid grin on my face all day
Have a nice day! – [said with an American 'twang']
Well, allrighty then.
Indeed Algelika ….. I couldn’t have put it better myself ……
Ah at last Farquar Undercracker Esq the 2nd…..your secret identity is revealed
You could have offered him a chip to match the other on his shoulder??? That may have endeared him to you!!
Tee hee ……. long day?
long and taxing lol