The Cliff Top Residence
SE England
England
Dear 10 items or less Cashier,
I would like to congratulate you on noticing that I had, in fact, eleven items in my basket. As I explained to you, and eventually the manager, when I arrived at your splendid sales point I did have ten items but decided to grab some chewing gum from the display that we later discovered was actually a good 3 inches to the side of the till. I still maintain this was within the rules as the sign was blank on that side. My, what a lark we had with that improvised plumb-line and my Leatherman [one of the blades is an accurate measure – lucky I was carrying it with me]. It was quite a tricky calculation wasn’t it?
I must say that I agree with you that it is very important to keep to the rules so as not to inconvenience other customers and cause resentment, although when I finally remembered that the chewing gum was for my great grandmother [who has taken to the habit ever since she was banned from smoking her pipe in the hospice] the support from the by then rather long queue was overwhelming. When you finally allowed me to pay, yielding to public pressure, the clapping and cheering from the assembled crowd was extremely gratifying.
I do apologise for taking a bow at that point and knocking over the display of chocolate creme eggs, unfortunately necessitating closure of the till whilst the mess was cleared up.
It’s amazing how a crowd can turn isn’t it?
Yours sincerely
Daddy Papersurfer
.
Stumble It!
14 Comments
ask any football manger or politician …..
…… or celebrities ……… or peabrains.
How was Monday? – I’m guessing difficult – what with the cheap wine over the weekend an’ all ……
What’s a football ‘manger’ DP, is it something they
used in Jesus’ times ?
Tee hee – we’ll have to ask 70’s ….. it could explain why footballs are bald I suppose ….
so NOW I have got 2 of you at me does that constitute blog bullying ?? just askin ??? or should I report to the WBC, I am a fully fledged member thou knows ??
*blows a raspberry* ;-P
You’re home early! – I haven’t prepared my defences yet …..
I have got a poorly teen had to come and be mum
Hope she isn’t too bad – give her a big kiss from me – that’ll cheer her up!!!! – tee hee
There is an icky sicky vomity thing going round skool it was only a matter of time…….
I am sure she will be thrilled with the kissy poo ???? ;-/
[thank you]
Yuk – I hope you manage to avoid it ….. kids are just mobile petri dishes ……
Actually, three if you inlude John. I doubt there’s anyone over at that WBC who could actually do anything about any of this though sis.
I hope nobody ‘inludes’ young John ….. it’s a practice I don’t actually know but it sounds dodgy …..
DP yes kids are just a huge mobile icky petrie dish.. however, it never fails to amaze me that when kid is sick I am not … but when she is well I get it later .. oh the beauty of nature
Dear Frac .. John doesn’t pick on me as much as these two culprits … & I know what you are saying WBC has been very absent of late .. love Sis xx
Perhaps the WBC is suffering under government cut-backs …….. I think the Colonel is receding …….
I admit does sound a bit dodgy but then again… that might interest him a wee tad since he’s been over at fracas talking about sequins and all kind of other naughty things that make an innocent gal (such as myself) blush.
Regarding the Colonel… I think it might be his hairline that’s receding, which really shouldn’t affect the blog all that much. There must be some other reason for the apathy over there.
Monday was a busy one … one down 4 to go
you know I poured the cheapo stuff down the drain …. the tale is ….always check the label and wine that has travelled from South Africa or any where a long way away … for it to be bottled a few miles up the road here must be rubbish ….. eeeew!!
Never mind – everyday completed is one nearer retirement. Just make sure you’ve got enough tucked away to be able to afford the good stuff ….. mind you by then you’ll probably have lost most of your taste buds. Soooooo, buy the good stuff now and forget about the future …… but, on the other hand ……. [having a little lie down now - my brain hurts]
you’d try any cashier’s patience daddyp
Luckily my animal attraction [or smell] seems to keep me safe ………. I have noticed tills closing when I appear though – tee hee
i once offered a local grocer a design for an ‘automatic item counter’. when the number of items on the conveyer exceeded the proper allotment? a giant Monty Python-esque boot steps from the ceiling and squishes the math-challenged customer… yes. i might have been running an estrogen deficit that day. wanna make something of it? huh?
Even though you live a long long way away Daisyfae I’m going to put on my running shoes just in case …….
I try to avoid the tills run by Goddesses now, in case the operator is as dangerous as Daisyfae………………..
Very wise ……. she’s terribly feisty ….
BTW, can you sort your clock out ?
No wonder you’re always late, tsk………….
GOOD POINT …… I wonder if I can?
For some reason your photo reminded me of a video that one
of my Filipino friends showed me once.
If you Google ‘Softpedia, balut’, you’ll see what I mean.
Have a bucket handy though !
I wish I hadn’t done that …..
If you think that’s icky… years ago there was a ‘fad’ of people pretending and joking about eating fetus – as in the human kind. It was poor humor intended to bother pro-lifers, but since your egg reminded GW of the balut, his balut reminded me of that.
Oy.
I have heard [and seen] of people who cook and eat placenta – apparently it’s quite nice …..
Hardly the same thing as eating the dude who needed the placenta. I imagine it’s like liver… which I really don’t choose to consume either.
Eeeeew! My evening meal suddenly doesn’t look so appetising………..
Why? Were you planning on dining on balut… or placenta?
LOL.
Tee hee ……
You shouldn’t laugh DP… there are people all over the world who have no choice but eat such things. It must be horrible I tell you… horrible.
After a blog-writing marathon, I am in need of some extreme protein intake, but I think i’ll stick to tuna/pasta. Besides, DP and I are meeting
later down at his local ‘The Smug Pedant’ for a pint or two of Old Dirigible.
Fracarse told me not to laugh GW …. *quiet titter*
And while we’re on the subject of stomach-turning cuisine, Google ‘Tamilok’. (well sorted on the clock front BTW).
I am not going to Google it ….. well I might later and thanks for the heads up on the clock front ……
I googled it… it’s none other than Rick Astley.
rotflmao
I only said his world-wide number one was a piece of s****, I never mentioned anything about him being a
worm! (Please Frac, his lawyers read this blog, and they Know where I live!)
What’s this arse doing on my floor? I suppose I’d better clear it up ……… tsk [that is what 'rotflmao' means doesn't it? ..... or is it some kind of disease?]
A good laugh after a long (half) day of painting, thanks x
Has that brute been making you work!!!?! Sit down on the reeeeeeally comfy sofa and get yourself a glass of wine ……. I’ll have a word …….. erm …… what’s his real name again?
So,when will you be in Portugal?You let me know so I escape to Britain!!!!!!:)
I’ve been dealing with some problems,that’s why I’ve been away from FMB and this spot of yours…:)
We don’t know when we’ll be back over there – I’ll give you plenty of warning though Belinha!!!!!!! Hope the problems are getting sorted out ……
Can I have a little lie down on your sofa DP?
I wouldn’t normally ask, but i’ve just been ‘inluding’ for 3 hours, and i’m really exhausted, should leave all this extreme sports stuff to the youngsters, I won’t be getting on that bike for a while !
There are several people on it already – if you can find spot though …..
I didnt want to send anything to you on e-mail, this seems to be working OK now. I was writing stuff on my blog at about 6am, and all of a sudden all the script turned to Arabic (I think), go look, looks quite pretty.
Before you do, checkout the story on CNN, there is a virus spreading all over the world. Not joking!
Considering the date – I shall be a tad wary ……
You have some blog awards waiting for you HERE. This is not a joke.
I’m very honoured ….. I’ve gone all ‘Twittery’ – tee hee