The Cliff Top Residence
SE England
England
Dear Local Council
I must say how clever you’ve been in coordinating the Gas Board, the Electricity Company and British Telecom to take it in turns to dig up the road into town. The detours that I’ve enjoyed over recent months have been a delight, particularly your suggested route past all those burnt out cars and hoodies. It’s a side of town that I never fully appreciated before. The 500 or so speed bumps have helped my herniated disc no end and the local garage has been extremely appreciative of the extra business fitting shock absorbers and disguising the boldly executed patterns cleverly carved out of the paint work using only keys.
My joy became unconfined when I saw the notice announcing the new works due to be started on the 15th. I can hardly believe that they will only take 6 months to complete.
Keep up the good work and please let me know if you need more money paid into the Council coffers – I would be only too happy to ease any taxing problems you have.
Oh, by the way, I noticed whilst driving past your magnificent municipal flower bed that it looked in need of some nourishment and have consequently arranged for 3 tons of manure to be delivered to the Town Hall on Friday – early.
Yours sincerely
Daddy Papersurfer
.
Stumble It!
6 Comments
Again… your generosity seems to know no bounds. I’m writing Her Majesty tomorrow morning, to suggest you be Knighted (or knitted… whichever they think most appropriate…)
I would love to be knitted! – I could be a Purly King ….
Think you’d look good in an Arran sweater sort of style.
I think knot!
XOXO
I’m with Olga …… I live in the fast lane ….. a beige cardigan perhaps
You are so wise….I even quoted you today!
I saw ….. I must steal some more phrases …….
Looks like you’re in for a treat … all that humping. Do you remember how to…?
It’s more uncomfortable than I remember …… although the seatbelt is very familiar ……
I think it is darned decent of your council to arrange detours of the area you being fairly new to that side of town….. you can fully appreciate the changing vista
They are very thoughtful and obviously plan things to the smallest detail …… it’s all very delightful. They’re just putting in some traffic lights on a junction where there haven’t been any hold-ups as far as I’m aware ….. that should snarl things up nicely when they get the timing wrong …. tee hee
beautiful finishing touch … I bet you would willingly pay extra council tax for this standard of service
Of course ……. council tax is money VERY well spent …….. [note to self - remember to uncross fingers]
I would happily behead the woman who dreamt up the idea of council tax, (I used to be a miner).
Many, many years ago I was a minor …..
Yes, Morris?
Split screen …… *parp parp*
Saw a beautifaully (help me with my spelling here teach) restored version the other day.
Bootifully ……
Have sent the flightplan, and will be depositing the 3 tons ETA 16-34 GMT.
Just as the Mayor is leaving ……. perfect!
Please warn the Mayor and Mayoress, no violence intentioned or envisioned.
Apparently it’s very good for the skin ……..
Have rubbed it all over mine, just makes me smell even worse…..
Bet your skin is lovely and smooth though …..
So Rosemary tells me……..
Rosemary knows you know ………
So she’s always reminding me………..
Councils are a worry all over the world. We can cope with that. My major concern at the moment is yooth in Asia
They’s a problem innit blood …… my main concern however is unwelding the sofa from my behind ….
er….I just entered a url for my website (to post my comment above) that does not exist & I have NO IDEA how I came up with it! HAHAAHA!!!!!!!
OMG…..I am loosing it!
You’re loosing what!!!?! – your straps!!!?! – good grief
Those strapless bras are quite handy, but you’d have to amend your ‘gravatar’.