The Cliff Top Residence
SE England
England
Dear Young Man
I just thought I’d drop you a line to say how delighted I was when I glanced in my mirror and actually thought you were sitting in the back seat of my car. It must take a lot of skill to drive so closely to my rear-end without making contact.
I’d also like to say that I couldn’t really hear your sound system that clearly because you’d obviously removed the baffles from your exhaust – which was a shame as I particularly like music that has a powerful bass.
I do apologise for stopping at all the pedestrian crossings, that crocodile of school children seemed to go for ever didn’t it, and that old man really did need help across the street which was why I parked in the middle of the road and got out to help him. I couldn’t hear what you were saying to me because of your exhaust and excellent music but I did appreciate that novel way of waving a greeting.
I was very disappointed when you overtook me and I lost contact with you and your nodding dog – have you known her long?
Yours sincerely
Daddy Papersurfer
PS I’ve enclosed a leaflet about penis enhancement – I thought it might come in handy
.
Stumble It!
8 Comments
Are you sure the dog was a she?
Well I think so – bleached blond hair, heavy mascara and a fag hanging out of her mouth ……
Could’ve been Tranny from Brighton.
In Hastings!!!! – does he travel that far?
He/she has been seen as far away as Dorsetcestershire, it’s called cruising. so i’m told.
Cruising should be controlled …… just sayin’
lol, didn’t know my wife’d gone international, yuck yuck yuck
Hello John – I’ve now got a very precise picture in my head – tee hee
Hi John,
I’m worried about pictures in DP’s head, is there anything we can do about this ?
he is long past help … oops did I say that out loud???
*snigger*
The windmills in my pants have effectively charged my hearing aid and I can assure young 70’s that you did say that out loud ……… however, as I’m feeling reasonably mellow thanks to an excellent malt whisky, on this one occasion, I shall forgive you …….
I knew you would ..
[how is the pants windmill marketing going btw??]
Excellently thankyou ……. in many ways …..
I knew he was OK, I just escaped from the cupbourd
via jet propulsion …..?
It’s far past the time of worrying. Least he’s got an editor. :snigger:
Fracas seems to be AWL.
I’m standing in.
i was a taxi-driver/courier for 13 years, and that moron used to follow me too.
He gets everywhere doesn’t he?
Here in Saskatchewan, many of our drivers have that special skill. I guess we’re just ahead of the rest of you folks.
(Have you any more of those leaflets? I can tell by the very large trucks with oversized frames and wheels that some of the good folks here are driving about the city, that folks here are desperate for such information. It would be kind of you to help out your Canadian friends…)
Morning Fracas, Evening when you read this.
I seem to have loads of these leaflets in my inbox ….. I’ll send some to you young Fraccy …..
I think you might have to order a re-print.
Many thanks DP… it’s nearly an epidemic here. You’ll be helping so many unfortunate folks!
My pleasure …..
DP has contracted me to fly you a shipment of leaflets, can you light up the landing site and inform Saskatchewan air traffic control, that my ETA is 07-00 Eastern Seaboard Time ?
I’ve passed this on, but for some reason, they just laughed at me.
I tried detailing my flightplan, but they laughed at me too.
Dropping leaflets over your back-yard soon.
Please be sure they land in the bin I’ve set out for you. It shouldn’t be all that difficult… I’ve painted a target ’round it in the snow.
That’s right. Snow. We still have mounds of it everywhere here since it’s STILL -40 (Celsius) with the windchill factor.
Be sure you’ve dressed warmly!
With the temperatures so low it is vital that Gitwizard gets those leaflets out to you as soon as possible ……
Luckily, the heating is pretty good on this Dakota, hopefully we’re not on fire.
…I knew she was going to say that.
And I knew you were going to say *that*.
It’s damn spooky already; I swear one of us must be getting help from some mystical source or something….
I knew you were going to say that about me saying *that*! HA! Double HA!
HA with a cup of Mexican drinking chocolate laced with…with…
…with cinnamon! Muhahahahha!
Careful you guys, shipment incoming………..
Instructions above. God be with you for taking on such a dangerous mission as to fly over the barren wasteland that is Saskatchewan in the frigid winter.
You should be given a medal or something. I’ll speak to DP about that. He’s like a god or something you know… (or so he thinks…) so he should be able to arrange something (with TG’s help of course…).
No problem, not sure I got them in that bin though.
Going to ask DP to post the medal, still seeing the doc after my last visit to the cliff-top mansion.
I’ve never flown over Saskatchewan before, back safely now.
Very glad you had a safe trip ……. man
The flight was a breeze, but i’m still walking with a limp.
I knew you would ‘double ha’ me, just as I knew you’d be drinking Mexican chocolate with cinnamon. I also know right now (almost midnight my time and past it for you) that you’ve got your feet up the nether-regions of a couple of bunnies.
I’m wondering if we should try land some television show and cash in on these psychic abilities?
I had no idea whatsoever that either of you were going to say anything – truly amazing. I’d pay good money to see you two doing an act – tee hee
Superb DP ….. you know you can sometimes get a whiff of their ‘eau de Berbury pour l’homme’ (Burberry knock off from the pound shop)coz they are so darned close
…. had a subaru impreza (council estate sports car) trying to be very intimate with Charlie
the Citroens’rear end last week …. I wish I had one of your leaflets to shove up his …… exhaust (I think he got the idea though from the pinky wave!!)
Oh morning bTW
It used just to be young peabrains but there seems to be quite a few goddesses developing the habit …… I’d better get some other leaflets to cover all eventualities ……… you’re up early – guilty conscience?
a little thing called ‘being back at work’ grrrrr
I’ve heard of that – is it fun? ……. tee hee
ooooodles … NOT!!
You’d better hurry up – you’ll be late ……
One of the joys of being semi-retired, is that I don’t get followed by that moron any more……….unfortunately he’s still out there, still trying to kill and maim…….(how does he afford the petrol ?).
He probably uses testosterone by the KFC bucket full ……..
My local KFC has been out of testosterone for weeks now, used to enjoy a splash on my fillet burger.
you know, that thing on the boot lid? here in the states we call that a “GoFaster”. it’s been scientifically shown to make any vehicle go >10 miles per hour faster. it is also purported to provide 0.5 inch penile extension…
Unfortunately all the lights on the front negate any advantage ……. those and the fluffy dice ……
…they’re not dice, they’re wash and hang butt beads.
I’ve often wondered – so they are endemic to the whole world – oh dear ………
I think they’re systemic as well…a one, then a two. Both at once…one never knows. Least it wasn’t Autoerotic on the Audobon.
Take it to far and someone always dies that way. Smile on their face, but still dead nonetheless.
…not that I know anything about such matters.
One of those 70’s emoticon smiles.?
On this side of the pond, we have similar ideas, unfortunately on this side, our police officers don’t carry a gun.
Sorry, I meant to attach that to Daisyfae’s comment.
*giggle*
LMFAO!
Oh dear – detachable bottoms – sorry
[It's lovely to hear people giggling Angelika!]
Detachable, oh Ive got it now, ta Google dictionary.
I’ve just heard very bad news. My pension fund has been found (see dizzy dee blog).
May now have to start new career as a ’50’s musical’ critic.
Oh dear …….. you’re never too old to change though ….. particularly socks and undercrackers …….
Do that daily, need more washing liquid.
Good – standards are high – that’s what I like to see …..
Just buffing these boots, be on parade soon,