Sun
31
Mar
2019

THE BREXIT IMPASSE …

… excuse my French.

 

 

People on all sides are unhappy.

Something has to be done.

My suggestions are –

1 – Revoke article 50 for 2 years and continue being an EU member and having British MEPs.

2 – After 2 years hold another referendum asking exactly the same question as last time but with the sensible caveat that only a 60% to 40% majority will hold sway. No clear majority, hold another referendum 2 years down the line. Repeat if necessary.

All parties must include this as a promise in their manifestos to account for any change in government.

In the mean time, now that people know a lot more about the EU and the importance of MEPs, our concentration will be more focussed on selecting the best MEPs to achieve what needs to be done to improve the EU.

The present situation of trying to have our cake and eat it is ridiculous.

I’m going to my shed now until you all start behaving sensibly.

 

 

 

Sun
10
Mar
2019

BREXIT NEVER HAPPENED

I have been tasked to go back in time and to make sure that Donald Cameron and Mary Mount never meet with the obvious consequences that David Cameron couldn’t be born thus avoiding the present debacle.

 

Of course one never knows exactly what might happen when having a fiddle with history and if we wake up tomorrow morning to discover that Donald Trump is the Queen of England please don’t blame me.

Thu
17
Jan
2019

NOT EVERYONE LIKES MY WORK

It came as a shock to me that not everyone likes my work.

My oldest companion, Grumpy Ted, viewed my painting, mooned it and then broke wind.

Rude.

Sun
16
Sep
2018

HERE WE GO AGAIN

With due regard to all those who suffer for their art I’m finding this painting malarky a piece of piss.

 

I haven’t done any ‘real’ paintings for over 50 years but having discovered acrylic paints and a source of free MDF (medium density fibreboard) I’m on a roll.

‘Pansy’s Swan Song’ acrylic … nooooo … on MDF …really? … now framed and ready for market. Next one on it’s way which will be part of a new series under the banner of ‘Freak Show’.

Wed
22
Aug
2018

INTERVIEW WITH CHANNEL 5 ART’S CORRESPONDENT 

 

“What inspires you Daddy Papersurfer?”

“Anything.”

“Anything?”

“Yes. Anything in real life, printed, on social media, anything that you can smell or touch or listen to – anything.”

“Anything you can smell!!!?!”

“Indeed although I’d rather keep those sources to myself.”

“Thank you for that. Anyway, tell me about this painting.”

“Well, it all started with a Google of marigolds, I was thinking plants, and blown up pictures of rubber gloves appeared.  I liked these. My initial drawings put a marigold hanging from a trapeze. I don’t know why.”

“Did you do a painting along these lines?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“I couldn’t be bothered.”

“So why did you go down the route you did?”

“No idea.” 

“What’s this painting called?”

“Marigold, the aerial contortionist, performs in the Big Topper – ON ICE!”

“That’s a very long title.”

“Is it?”

Thu
26
Jul
2018

THE CASE FOR THE DEFENCE.

 

 

“Well Mr Daddy Papersurfer, what have you got to say in your defence?”

I rose unsteadily to my feet.

“Your honour, members of the jury, my loyal fans in the gallery, I realise that the photographic evidence found on my iPhone by the police appears to be damning. Let me explain.

A mosquito had bitten me on the ankle and the result was very itchy. I thought I had it under control with the copious use of Germolene. It was hot and I decided, when I went shopping, to wear my sandals. I arrived at Morrisons in fine fettle but realised very quickly that the sandal strap was aggravating the bite and by the time I’d got to the gin alley … I mean aisle … that the itching needed attending to. I foolishly lifted my leg to have a good scratch and took a tumble. I was fine but thought while I was down on the floor recovering, to phone Lo she is a terrible goddess to check on how many courgettes she actually needed. We had had quite a long discussion on numbers but, quite honestly, I wasn’t really listening. At this moment a rather charming and short skirted young woman approached to see if I was ok. Being in a confused state I fumbled with the phone, the flash went off, and a picture was taken. The young woman screamed and ran off yelling “Upskirting man in aisle 5!!!!”, security arrived and the rest is history … “ I paused to let the truth sink in “ … and that concludes my defence.”

The judge turned to the jury.

“I cannot give you direction”. He turned and glared at me. “You must make your own minds up.” He took out his hanky which happened to be black and mopped his bald spot. “Recuse yourselves now. I expect the verdict won’t take long.”

Thank heavens the judiciary in this country is so even handed.

I’m awaiting the result safe in the knowledge I’ll be home for tea.

Tue
12
Jun
2018

ANOTHER …

… of my own things.

 

 

‘April’ – the month when nature winds itself up. Acrylic on MDF.

Tue
12
Jun
2018

I’M THINKING …

… just do my own thing.

 

 

‘As Stately as a Gastropod’ acrylic on MDF in bespoke frame.

Wed
4
Apr
2018

PROGRESSION

Not everything you see  …..

 

 

 

… is what you might think it is ….

 

 

From my point of view, nothing is as simple as it appears … apart from the complicated of course.

Mon
19
Mar
2018

SOFA SO GOOD

This is where the magic happens … (and in the shed of course).

 

2018 has taken a surprising turn. I haven’t done a shed load of paintings for a very long time and I have never done ‘proper’ paintings using acrylic paint before.

Some of these will be available to see (and purchase) at Fairfest, the biennial Fairlight Music and Arts Festival on Sunday 29th July. The way things are going there might be more.

If you have any control over the weather please supply sunshine on this day and I wouldn’t be adverse to better weather now so that my shed is a tad warmer and dryer. Thank you.