Thu
26
Jul
2018

THE CASE FOR THE DEFENCE.

 

 

“Well Mr Daddy Papersurfer, what have you got to say in your defence?”

I rose unsteadily to my feet.

“Your honour, members of the jury, my loyal fans in the gallery, I realise that the photographic evidence found on my iPhone by the police appears to be damning. Let me explain.

A mosquito had bitten me on the ankle and the result was very itchy. I thought I had it under control with the copious use of Germolene. It was hot and I decided, when I went shopping, to wear my sandals. I arrived at Morrisons in fine fettle but realised very quickly that the sandal strap was aggravating the bite and by the time I’d got to the gin alley … I mean aisle … that the itching needed attending to. I foolishly lifted my leg to have a good scratch and took a tumble. I was fine but thought while I was down on the floor recovering, to phone Lo she is a terrible goddess to check on how many courgettes she actually needed. We had had quite a long discussion on numbers but, quite honestly, I wasn’t really listening. At this moment a rather charming and short skirted young woman approached to see if I was ok. Being in a confused state I fumbled with the phone, the flash went off, and a picture was taken. The young woman screamed and ran off yelling “Upskirting man in aisle 5!!!!”, security arrived and the rest is history … “ I paused to let the truth sink in “ … and that concludes my defence.”

The judge turned to the jury.

“I cannot give you direction”. He turned and glared at me. “You must make your own minds up.” He took out his hanky which happened to be black and mopped his bald spot. “Recuse yourselves now. I expect the verdict won’t take long.”

Thank heavens the judiciary in this country is so even handed.

I’m awaiting the result safe in the knowledge I’ll be home for tea.

Tue
12
Jun
2018

ANOTHER …

… of my own things.

 

 

‘April’ – the month when nature winds itself up. Acrylic on MDF.

Tue
12
Jun
2018

I’M THINKING …

… just do my own thing.

 

 

‘As Stately as a Gastropod’ acrylic on MDF in bespoke frame.

Wed
4
Apr
2018

PROGRESSION

Not everything you see  …..

 

 

 

… is what you might think it is ….

 

 

From my point of view, nothing is as simple as it appears … apart from the complicated of course.

Mon
19
Mar
2018

SOFA SO GOOD

This is where the magic happens … (and in the shed of course).

 

2018 has taken a surprising turn. I haven’t done a shed load of paintings for a very long time and I have never done ‘proper’ paintings using acrylic paint before.

Some of these will be available to see (and purchase) at Fairfest, the biennial Fairlight Music and Arts Festival on Sunday 29th July. The way things are going there might be more.

If you have any control over the weather please supply sunshine on this day and I wouldn’t be adverse to better weather now so that my shed is a tad warmer and dryer. Thank you.

Fri
23
Feb
2018

PAINTING. Really!!!?!

I needed an old-school type painting as part of my next exhibition of exciting and innovative sculptures so decided I’d better do it myself.

 

 

He turned out ok.

I found another off-cut I could use so then did a painting I’ve been thinking about for ages. It was grown from a cutting and lives in the bedroom.

 

I wasn’t busy so there was another thing that I had been thinking about recording.

 

Le Jongleur has lived with us for many a long day.

 

I then stumbled across a couple of images that I liked on the interweave and threw them together to daub this …

 

… and then, last week, I painted this …

 

… which I quite like.

The odd thing is that I don’t really enjoy painting. In fact I haven’t painted a ‘proper’ painting for over 30 years.

The trek to the cold and damp shed is now very muddy and I have no idea what I’m doing … or why. Ho hum I suppose. Ours is not to reason why, Ours is just to do and *sigh*.

Sat
4
Nov
2017

THE CURATOR’S EGG

 

The new exhibition at A Galeria Secreta is, in the main, excellent.

 


If people knew where it was, they would flock. As it is, views are very private.

If you want a private view bring your own wine and glasses … oh and some cheese, I like cheese.

Contact me for details.

Wed
20
Sep
2017

THINKING AHEAD … again

 

I was talking to the voices in my head and one of them came up with a brilliant idea … merchandising for my next exhibition to help with costs! Consequently I’ve gone into intense production.

 

 

There will be two products for sale, both in limited edition runs and all individually monogrammed.
Minimum spend £10. Maximum £100,000.

Above is a furtive glance of one. The other will be in production soon.

Disclaimer – URMugs Ltd is a fictitious company. One product may contain baked beans. The other nothing but air.

Thu
31
Aug
2017

TIME FOR A BREAK

 


Ok, I’m pretty sure I’m organised for Coastal Currents Open Studios 2017. It starts the day after tomorrow!

Details can be found by clicking *here* – studio 69 on page 94.

I’m a tad loose endish now.

I know, I’m fascinated by numbers, let’s have a little Google.

94 then …

 

… oh, it just seems to be a number. Not that interesting.

Ok, let’s see what 69 reveals.

 

OH!!! *gulp* Blinking heck!!!!!! CRIKEY!!!!!!!!

 

.

 

 

 

 

Ok, move along there. Nothing to see here. *clears history, unplugs computer, makes a calming cup of tea and has a little lie down*.

Thu
24
Aug
2017

THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

A small intermission before Coastal Currents Open Studios 2017 kicks into action in just over a week. The East of Hastings section will be of particular interest.

 

This is Sean Sheep, one of the many voices in my head. Sit back and relax.